How to streamline your life.

It’s easy to get caught up in stuff, whether emotional or physical – sometimes you need to muck out and let the horse crap of your past fertilise your fallow future (I’m big on metaphors and bucolic imagery). So cut the crap, live little for a while and see how the world gets bigger than the inside of your head.

  • Set Fire to the Rain: Burn things. Burn your ex’s t-shirts, your old school books, Christmas cards from people you hate, whatever it is that you’ve been hoarding away – take back the space.
  • Get creative: Write a song or a poem. Title it, ‘Fuck (insert object of your aggression here)’
  • Release the beast: Scream into a pillow. Pillow optional. Release brings renewal.
  • Pantry party: Use up everything in your cupboards, clean them, restock in an orderly fashion.
  • Sell-out: Sell any of your possessions that have bad associations. Especially that red dress… I know what you did last summer.
  • Discoball: Make something shiny with old CDs. Inspiration here.
  • Trink-ing of you: Have something that reminds you of someone? Write them a lovely letter and send them a little trinket. Unclutter and reconnect in one fell swoop.
  • Bastards, cripples and broken things: Like Tyrion, we all have a place in our hearts for the imperfect. But be realistic. If you have a single shoe, get rid. If you have multiple breadmakers with no home, get online and find them one.
  • Get to the bottom of it: Simmer in the last of your Christmas smellies, hold a fire festival in your house with your half-burnt candles.

Life can be a bit treacly sometimes and a bunch of stuff weighing you down will only get you drowned in delicious, deadly treacle. So inhale that cow-pat-scented air and let it clear out your sinuses. Bucolic enough for you?

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